I like pillows. There is nothing better than being surrounded by them and sinking in and relaxing. At a minimum, I want one on either side of me and one in front that I can cling tightly to my chest. I then descend into a world of complete comfort. And with all these pillows around me, I would not object to having even more pillows added to my surrondings. This is my heaven. This is my comfort zone. The more and more soft pillowy goodness I can add, the more comfortable I get. I can sit in my stockpile of pillows and so very easily convince myself “just one more episode of (enter latest Netflix series), and I will get up to do (enter whatever task it is that I know I should be doing instead)”. And then, very likely, repeat that process over again as another episode comes to an end. I know I probably should turn it off and get up…but it’s hard. Because let’s face it, it is difficult to leave your comfort zone. Why make yourself uncomfortable?
Being uncomfortable sucks. There are entire industries out there, hotel, restaurants, travel agencies, which are predecated on making sure we are comfortable. And we will work hard and pay good money to seek out and find the best ways to ensure our comfort. This is where we desire to be, and once we get there ,we want nothing more than to stay…and make it even more comfortable. Add even more pillows! Because the only thing possibly better than comfort is more comfort! And we find that the more and more pillows that are added, the harder and harder it gets to leave our comfort zone.
Lately, every week leading up to 8:10 pm Monday I get extremely Uncomfortable!
This is now my fifth blog post. And every Monday at 8:10 pm, I aim to have a blog post finished and published. I have no clue why I picked 8:10 pm, but that is what I have set as my weekly deadline. And so far this has kept me on track. Which is good. But for the last 5 weeks, as Monday approaches and the clock gets closer and closer to 8:10 pm that day, I find myself in a state of almost intolerable discomfort. It’s not so much the deadline itself that I imposed on myself that makes me uncomfortable. It’s those intimidating moments of self-doubt and negative questions forming in my mind that I find myself struggling with. It’s these struggles that make me want to bury myself in my mound of pillows and seek those oh so good feelings of comfort that I am used to! As my weekly 8:10 pm Monday deadline approaches, I can tell my discomfort is comprised of a clouded assortment of something along the lines of…
‘What the hell am I going to write about?’
‘Is what I even write going to be any good?’
‘Is anyone going to read it? And who is going to even care?’
‘Why the f— am I even doing this?’
This has become regular weekly moments of uncomfortableness. It is now the most uncomfortable I get all week and I’m not sure if surrounding myself with pillows would make it go away. This entire writing and “blogging” thing is something totally new to me and is completely out of my ‘usual’ character. It has no place in my previous comfy world of clutching pillows. From the view point of that comfort zone, the one thing that I would have never considered doing is putting my thoughts down for someone (anyone) else to see and read. I’m not an expert, but I think that is what blogging is supposed to be all about….getting your own thoughts down and sharing them with others. Except my blog does not serve to share my thoughts on food, travel, or the new Batman vs. Superman movie. And I have no issues with those topics. But I’m not sure there is really anything uncomfortable about discussing those topics, is there? To be honest, I don’t even really know how I describe what this allenseto.com blog is supposed to be about…other than the fact that I am writing about myself. And to me, for some reason, the thought of doing that is totally uncomfortable.
Who would want to read about what I think anyways? I am not that interesting.
Look, I personally feel totally comfortable in my own skin. I know what my limitations are and I think I know what my capabilities are too. But what brings on these feelings of uneasiness is being in my own skin and then attempting to share, out in the internet world with other people, what it’s like to be in that skin. This blog is a forum for my thoughts. And I want to express these thoughts in such a way that others might actually care to take the 10 or so minutes to read about them.
So why even do this? Wouldn’t it be much easier to bury myself under my comfort zone of pillows rather than sitting here in front of my laptop attempting to type away with something smart or clever to say? Just look at those pillows, so familiar and comfortable over there. It’s like they need me as much as I need them. Why do I torture myself weekly as this ‘deadline’ nears?
Because, nothing different ever happens inside a comfort zone.
That is what makes that zone so comfortable. Not just the pillows. It’s because it is safe. Because it is familiar. Because it is free of any risk.
But if I want to try something different, then I need to push a pillow (or two…or three) aside and step out into what is outside of that zone. I have to willingly make myself uncomfortable. I have no idea what is going to come of this blog. Maybe something. Maybe nothing. Maybe something in-between. There could be people who read it and think it’s a total waste of time. Or a good friend might say to me, “Wow, I really liked what you wrote. I didn’t know you could write!” Or maybe an author whose book I enjoyed might actual take the time to read and comment on a post I mention him in!
But I wouldn’t know any of that, or what else could possibly happen, if I chose to stay in my comfort zone and refused to get uncomfortable. I am choosing to step out and do something different, out of character, and writing about myself! even though the thought of it makes me feel so uneasy. And I have to be ok, or at least not give a sh*t, with whatever the outcome is. Because I have to believe thats it’s doing the things that make us so uncomfortable, are often the most important and might just turn out to be the most personally rewarding.
So I guess this is a promise to myself. I hope I can keep it. Every Monday, no matter how uncomfortable I think I am getting, I still plan on breaking free of my comfort zone, and meet my 8:10 pm deadline. I am going to gently move, push aside, or completely blast through all the pillows that make up the walls of my comfort zone if needed. I will leave a chaotic mess of pillows in my wake if that is what it takes. And who knows, maybe it will get easier week after week. I might just get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
It’s so much easier to stay comfortable and say no to things that make us feel uneasy. The things we procrastinate on, the things we don’t want to do, or sometimes ignore completely…often these are the most important things that are actually worth doing! So make yourself uncomfortable. There may just be something unique and rewarding that comes of it.
Thanks for reading.
For anyone interested, I have added the ability for those reading this blog to subscribe to get new post notifications when they are ready! Assuming I have set it up correctly, the subscription box should be showing up on the left hand side of your screen (or if you are reading on your mobile device, then it should show up somewhere along the top). So if you have enjoyed reading all these posts so far, then please subscribe. And please continue to share with anyone else you think may enjoy them as well. I promise, I won’t be spamming any inboxes with nonsense. Thank you 🙂