(WARNING – I use some bad language in the following post)
My wife tells me I am a perfectionist. When she says that to me it is more a jab than it is a compliment. I do not argue or try to defend myself. In fact, I admit that it is probably my biggest weakness. I am painfully learning that there is never a perfect situation, a perfect time, or a perfect way to get shit done.
It sucks to procrastinate or waste time because I get fixated on the fact that things aren’t quite just right. Even as I am writing this, I can even tell that I am stopping and getting frustrated trying to come up with the perfect wording and perfect sentence structures to piece this blog post together in a perfect way. Actually, that’s probably why I took a break from posting on my allenseto.com blog as of late. I was trying so hard to make perfect posts. And I was trying so hard because I “heard” that you should post at least once a week if you want to have the perfect blog….WTF is a perfect blog anyways?
Trying to come up with perfect blogs, perfect subjects to write about, and perfect wording was frustrating. What would have been much easier (or in my case, much harder) was just accepting that shit won’t ever be perfect…and just writing about whatever and whenever. There doesn’t need to be a perfect structure or timing to it at all…regardless of what anyone else says.
So here I am….lying in bed at 9:30am…writing an imperfect post about perfectionism. I am still in bed this late in the morning, because Marcus had a rough night and in order to get him to stop crying and sleep, he is lying in our bed and finally fast asleep. It’s quiet…and I have my laptop on my lap in bed and for whatever reason I had this moment of ‘hey let’s write a blog post’. And for whatever reason this blog topic popped up in my head and was born. So what the hell…I decided to just start typing…
I would love to get out of bed and start my perfect day off….But I know I am being an imperfect parent and I am breaking the taboo and allowing our infant son to sleep between us in our bed. But Marcus and Siu are actually getting sleep right now…and I am writing next to them (in a weird kind of way..this is perfect??)
So here I am writing what will probably be an imperfect blog post…because I will read it over once…just to make sure there are no blatant spelling errors….and will break my routine and post it right away (hopefully it is somewhat coherent as I am writing on very little sleep from the night before and trying to type as quietly as my Macbook will allow).
This is much different then my previous routine of writing blog posts….trying to come up with something clever to write about, then spend hours and hours laying it out, googling different synonyms for words I want to use, and reading it over and over and over again, re-writing paragraphs and ideas… until it was just PERFECT. And then posting it and realizing it wasn’t quite perfect….and editing it a bit more…until it was PERFECT again.
Anyways…trying to be perfect is a on-going losing battle for me.
What I need to understand is that the perfect way to get shit done is simple…Just get shit done!